As we now drift well and truly into a New Year, 2013, for better or worse, and undoubtedly it will be an unlucky year for somebody, probably most of us.  But then when I look back, when did any of us have any luck?

Having said that, we have been blessed with a week or two of snow and ice which always helps to keep the home fires burning.  But already as the days lengthen I can feel in my water that the winter harvest is all but over, even if a few odd days remain to keep the wolves from the door.

But for how long?  Already I have spouted this rubbish because there doesn’t seem to be much happening to write about over the last two or three months, in fact, it has been ‘EERIE’ quiet.

Looking back at a recent issue of Professional Recovery, being a nostalgia freak, I was very impressed by the discovery and publication of a major repair bill for a truck gear box, totalling something like £25 from back in 1938.  At this time, of course, I was not even a spillage on the back seat of a Wolseley.  It was not in fact until after the Second World War that I took my first breath, but I certainly have memories from around 1950 with the whole country having gone through a terrible war, with the aftermath lasting until the mid-fifties.  I still remember the tremendous British spirit and comradeship that made Britain great, which has well and truly gone for good.  How would our Nanny State have faired in 1942?

Professional Recovery touched on the well-being that people felt even though they were on low wages and didn’t know the meaning of the word “luxury”.  But they certainly valued each other and I do remember a fair amount of food shortage.  In fact, shortages of everything at least up to 1954.

I have fond memories of going to the shop with my Mum’s ration book to collect perhaps a bag of sugar.  There is no doubt, on looking back, they were hard times but people could rely on everything that life offered, which of course was not a lot, but it didn’t let them down the way it does today. 

I remember being ill and my Mum call the Doctor at 9 o’clock in the morning and he came straight to the farm after he had finished his surgery; all part of him doing his daily rounds.  I have said it before: buses ran on time and there was a second person, the Conductor, to take your money as the bus chugged along from stop to stop; schools did not close because there was a few inches of snow and we had some damned good snowball fights, sometimes teachers against pupils.

There may have been no televisions, unless you were extremely wealthy, but every town or village with more than 200/300 residents had its own cinema.  I always remember these small communities had a Police House and a Policeman on site.  He sauntered about the town or village in his own time and knew where every criminal and upright citizen hung their hats.

And as schoolboys they used to frighten the living daylights out of us: threatening to send us to prison if we did not stop throwing sticks at the conker tree to get a decent sized one for school the next day.  And of course we believed that this Policeman would actually do that, which was reinforced by the other people in the village who confirmed the prison diet was bread and water.  I quickly decided a good conker wasn’t worth the risk.  So from an early age I learned to respect the Law. 

Living on a farm it was easy not locking the house doors, but this was a practice that went on across the whole community.  I doubt some people even had a key for the house they lived in: some rear doors didn’t even have a lock, but then again, apart from a couple of hanging pheasants, a 1940s house had nothing to steal. 

This was the true British spirit that had made sure the British people did win the war.  Just think what would happen nowadays if we got another war; we would be rolled over from within in a couple of days.

By the time I started in the Motor Trade in 1960, very little had changed though prosperity had arrived.  I believe a garage, as they were called, used to do everything.  It was not much of a garage if it didn’t sell petrol, fit exhausts and tyres, service and sell cars: with panel beating and spraying also carried out on the same site, heating by courtesy of a pot-bellied stove and, if that wasn’t enough, a Land Rover with a Harvey Frost standing doing nothing was a must.  This set up was repeated thousands of times across the country and all just to service something like three million cars. 

Rather ironically, my first employer using his Land Rover and Harvey Frost, used to do some work for the AA and the RAC and he was just as full of hell about them as Operators are today.  So, some things have not changed.

But, what was really good was: he who paid the piper, he who did the work, no quango, no handling companies, no consultants, no Health & Safety.  All earnings, however small, went straight to the right person.  It is often said that a man who works, lives longer; nowadays it just seems longer.

I am more than amused with the recent suggestions that burgers and other items of food might actually have in them an animal not listed on the packet.  I find it a bit pathetic that somebody would say that a burger was not fit for purpose if it had the hind quarter of a Shergar inside it (now we know why he never turned up).  In fact quite a favourite delicacy of France and Italy, but they are happy to chew away at the burger having total disregard for the huge amount of saturated fats, salts and other preservatives, that will go a long way to getting them their first heart attack, something the lean meat of the horse won’t contribute to.

Now we hear of tranquiliser drugs in this meat: what a bonus way to calm down wild Friday nights where many of these things are consumed.

I do believe I may have already eaten a burger with traces of zebra in it: the evidence was before me hidden in the bar code.  People should not be concerned about such nonsense; people after the war would have been so pleased to be able to get something that was so tasty, even if it would not form part of their “stable” diet and at the worst could perhaps give them the “trots”.  Anyway, what do you expect for 99p?  I suppose it is a bit like buying a cheap Chinese motor bike then finding its got a Honda engine – not all bad.

Going back to Professional Recovery again (three mentions this month) I am so pleased that Dave Gregory has got back to his core activity and I value his statement that he wholeheartedly supports and will help our Industry.  I would hope he means Operators like me and I do think he means well.  I certainly wish him well but I don’t think we should hold our breath.

I have always advocated that each person should look at his own business and at all times do everything he can to develop that business.

Dave has a successful Publishing Company and the only way these companies operate is sales of   advertising revenue.  I cannot see how he can stand up an be counted without harming the hands that feed him.  Just browse through any magazine and it is supported by everybody connected with everything.  Over the years I have seen many a good story snookered by the buying of a full page ad.

None of us can afford to upset any of our customers and I would support Dave Gregory for doing just the same, but it does mean he cannot be relied on to fight our corner, leaving him a bit like David Cameron in some ways.  So will the next person please step forward.

Fred Henderson,
Breakdown Doctor
February, 2013      

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Most people will feel happy if they can avoid coming into contact with a Breakdown and Recovery man, it means they have not broken down,  But if they ever do they may like to remember one or two things that might help or hinder their cause.

Having been one of these breakdown men for over 40 years, it would not be fitting if I missed the opportunity to point out some of the things that irritate and often upset the 10,000 or so people who work like me, 24 hours a day, 365 days every year and turn out in all weathers to do some of the most difficult and awkward jobs to ensure that people and families are not left stranded.  Please, please spare a thought of what would happen to everybody if they did not have the services of the AA and RAC patrols or the independent garages.  There would be some very cold and frozen motorists; some perhaps would die at the roadside.  So why is it that so many people make our lives so difficult?

It would be unfair to say that this is everybody.  Probably 30% are absolutely wonderful, helpful to themselves, helpful to us and an absolute gem to deal with from the moment they call to the moment we part company, whether this is just changing a road wheel or transporting them many hours during the night to get them and their family back home.  So to all these people, thank you so much and that is probably why we are all still doing the job.

So now the 60%.  Please listen to what I have to say and maybe you can move into the top group.  Firstly, please remember it certainly is not our fault that you have broken down and you are going to be late for something which is probably immensely frivolous anyhow.  Please also remember that you will only get free service pro rata for what you have paid for.  If you pay for local recovery you will enjoy fully local recovery.  It is not my fault that you live a hundred miles away.  It is no good asking me to telephone for the third time and get the same answer three times.  You are not covered and it is not my fault.

Breaking down and knowing exactly where you are is quite difficult, but explaining on the phone that you don’t know is not going to solve the problem.  There are many ways to find out and then transfer the information and, quite honestly, I would have thought it is not a lot to ask.  So many people travel the same piece of road every single day and then, when the car stops, they haven’t a clue where it is.  I often feel that a night’s sleep in the car might sharpen their brain against a similar memory lapse.  However, at the end of the day, the golden rule is if you do not provide us with a good location of your broken down car, it will take an awful lot of luck to come to your assistance.

Our number one irritation in this modern day and age is people calling from a mobile phone with a miserable location, asking to be called back, then keeping on “engaged” or a defunct message system and, during this time, calling all their friends until the battery goes flat and we are left helpless to help.  So the golden rule here is, without exception, keep your mobile phone clear and well-charged while waiting for breakdown assistance.

Many cars are repaired at the roadside, in fact a reasonably high number, but nobody can work miracles, especially where parts are concerned.  Always be realistic as to what repairs you can expect to be carried out.  When, for example, a puncture occurs you will be asked if you have a spare wheel.  Many times people will say, “Yes, of course I have a spare wheel” but when assistance arrives the spare wheel turns out to be flat and punctured or, worse still “It is on the nearside front” and the nearside front is flat, in the boot, or even: “I have a spare and it is in the garage”. 

If you think you have run out of fuel, just say so, not “I know there’s plenty of fuel in the car, I just put £5 worth in an hour ago.”  Or, better still: “The instruments say I still have more than a mile left before I’m empty.”

When we ask what the problem is, what we mean is what has happened to the car.  Has it stopped, has it turned over, or whatever.  The number of times I have asked somebody what the problem is and the reply has been, “If I knew that I wouldn’t have called you.”  What a good foot to get off on!  It helps immensely if you use best intention when describing the fault.  It is odd, really, that some of the best help you can get for finding a fault are some of the old clichés like, “It feels like it’s running on kangaroo petrol”, or “It sounds like a bag of hammers.”  It is non-technical and self-explanatory.  What we don’t want to know is a 25-minute history of when the car was bought, why it shouldn’t have been bought, how it’s not as good as the last three, why we will never have one like this again, how the wife said all along the car would be a problem, and now it is.  What a manifold of useless information when all I want to do is find the fault, put it right and go back to my warm bed.

As a result of many of these situations we have become quite cynical which, I suppose, is understandable but I find when things seem to get impossible two or three people from the 30% suddenly appear, which charge my mental batteries and I am away again, ready to be ground down.

Fred Henderson
Breakdown Doctor
December, 2012

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It must be three years since ERRI, or G8 or whatever we want to call them, started their route to not only representing our Industry but supposedly to help improve our lot: more or less their words I would say rather than anyone else’s.

If I am not mistaken, three years on and they have achieved absolutely nothing:  their promise to look at the use of bus lanes; different flashing lights and, of course, to slip breakdown trucks of any age,  gracefully into the LEZ and get everyone registered with an ‘R’ licence.

With all else having failed, is the ‘R’ licence now their last chance saloon?  They would seem to have no other ideas that would help us.

Having now read the proposal for the ‘R’ licence, carefully concealed in the corner of their website, there is nothing in this proposal that changes me one bit from my stance that the ‘R’ licence is nothing more than a troublesome white elephant.  In fact the whole proposal document is a bit wishy-washy and seems to lack worthwhile content.  Most of it is taken up with stuff we know already: how an ‘O’ licence system works; we also are aware that people run about with small trucks carrying big Range Rovers; we know people do breakdowns for £20/£30; and what we do know, confirmed by the third from last paragraph, is that the ‘R’ licence alone will make no difference.  I am pleased to see that written down.

If the ‘R’ licence was ever to succeed it would have had to include positive changes like allowing us to carry body shop courtesy cars, something it could never do as these things are a matter for the laws of the land and can’t be overridden by an Industry standard.

I note elsewhere that the ‘R’ licence will be potentially enforced by VOSA and the Police who will use their spare time to see to this (I think not).

Surely, people must realise that many of the things that ERRI are trying to put to rights are already part of the laws of the land, so all that is needed is more rigid enforcement by the Authorities.  I am pleased to see that the Vehicle Operating Standards Agency, who will soon not want to be referred to as VOSA, are to issue guidelines to their staff  with regards to regulating recovery operations and hopefully at the same time let us see what they are telling them.

I have always been a big fan of the law of the land (and occasionally a victim) and I think this type of initiative will go a long way to helping us to stay within the law and at the same time get more out of our present businesses by understanding where there are local loopholes.

Finally, one area that does concern me and should be a concern to all other operators: ERRI claim to be able to make the ‘R’ licence a compulsory requirement for work providers and I believe as a last spiteful gesture they will do just that.  If nothing more, it is a conversation across the table followed by a tick in the box.  No expense and no thought about the consequences.

Fred Henderson,
Breakdown Doctor.
November, 2012

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It is not news that I have always campaigned against the various groups of people who claim to be representing the Industry (that is us operators, by the way) and yet the plain and simple truth, and their track record, is that they are actually doing nothing to improve our lot.

I suppose I should give the SURVIVE Group 5 out of 10 for their efforts to reduce hard shoulder fatalities, but in some way by publicising the fatalities has alerted most people to the danger.  So possibly they have not achieved as much as even I think they have.

The fact of the matter is that the only way forward is for each operator to look after himself and not worry about anyone else, which is really what these Green Flag Super Operators are doing.  While I feel sorry for every operator who loses a territory, as I have said before, these large operators have more bottle than me.  I therefore have to admire their courage.

Looking back over the last 30 years (the true life of our Industry) it has been the skill and dedication of various operators that has kept them and the Industry alive and while all these quango groups have in the last 10 years claimed to help us, I can only think of one person who has ever helped the Recovery Industry and that man is Brian Hagan, formerly of National Breakdown now, of course, Green Flag.

It could be said that he happened to be in the right place at the right time in history but I would prefer to say that it was “cometh the hour; cometh the man”.  Brian was there at the beginning 30-odd years ago and almost single-handedly developed a chain of operators which were then, of course, used by many other work providers.

Remember there were other people who tried to meet the challenge of forcing the independent Recovery sector forward, but soon realised that they couldn’t cut the mustard.

Brian not only threw his weight behind every single operator, large or small, supported them to the hilt, unless of course they let him down, and then they were promptly history.  But more importantly he ensured that we were paid what was for the time the proper rate for the job.  He then followed this up with annual increases which must have taken some doing in the Board Room.  And all of this with no bureaucracy, just common sense and keep the member happy.  The result was there for everyone to see – National Breakdown went from 0 to 100 miles per hour in just 20 years. 

It was a sad day for all of us when, in later years he got marginalised as the Royal Bank of Scotland played their part, and he eventually retired.

Time and history proves who has been valuable and who has given that bit extra and Brian was that man.  30-odd years ago the opportunity was taken to model our Industry but now in many ways we are left rudderless after falling foul of big company policy.  So, until our next Brian appears we are left looking after ourselves, each and every one of us, we have no other choice.

What a pity one of these quango groups can’t do something similar and be our new Brian.

Fred Henderson
Breakdown Doctor
September, 2012 

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It is now more than two years since I had the privilege of being invited and meeting the ERRI Group.  Two years on and they are still harping on about introducing an R licence which, without doubt, nobody wants.  I was assured by Brian Hagan at the time that they were not about to introduce new regulations, so why are they still pursuing this issue like a bulldog with a wasp in its mouth.  I suspect it was always about trying to do something that made a difference whether for better or worse: making a difference is the lifeblood of any voluntary committee.

Like everyone else, I don’t know what this R licence is all about.  Once again would they be kind enough to explain, in items 1 – 10 or whatever, what would be the advantage of having an R licence and, if they are bold enough, the disadvantages. 

More so now than ever before we are all dreadfully short of work, which means no spare money.  I would also hope that the work-providing clubs realise that if there is any more restriction put on our ability to provide around-the-clock emergency service we will just fail to provide.  It will become legislatively impossible to work after hours in the ad hoc manner that many of us have to do.  I was told the other day that one (not big) recovery club has lost over 250 agents in the last 8 years and now cannot fill the void areas.  How many more will have to give up?

I ask myself: am I the odd ball? But then I realise I have not found one single operator anywhere or even one person outside of that committee that wants this damned R licence. 

The problem with these things is that they are not about common-sense they are about politics and headstrong people.

I am re-running this article for people who might have missed it the first time as the Road Rescue and Recovery Association try to make operators aware of the folly, especially since VOSA appear not to want to be bothered, which as far as I am concerned immediately discredits any thought of a voluntary licence.  Hopefully it could become such a farce that these people who are instigating the issue could lose credibility, which would be no bad thing.

One thing for sure anybody who thinks a R licence will increase work and not cost money is living in cloud cuckoo-land 

Fred Henderson,
Breakdown Doctor.
September 2012

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Whatever we choose to moan and groan about, one topic, for better or worse, that doesn’t seem to go away is the thorny subject of our warning beacons.  It doesn’t need me, or a recent letter in Professional Recovery, to remind people that an amber flashing beacon is now nothing but a joke and probably sits fair and square with the hi-viz jacket.

Of course, there seems to have been many attempts to get bona fide Breakdown and Recovery vehicles on to alternating red lights when working at the scene, but at this stage without much success, even though there are a considerable number in current use and thankfully commonsense is prevailing and by and large nothing much happens. 

It looks as if we are never going to get much further with alternating reds if for no other reason than politics.  The Police have them, the HATOs have them, so we are never going to get them.

Perhaps there are two solutions to the problem.  The first one which no-one seems to have thought about is to improve the present light bars because, to be fair, when we complain it is about the small rotators which are fitted to everything from dust carts to farm tractors, the 5-6 ft long light bar is still almost solely used by our industry and has remained almost unchanged for 30 years.

There are now some fantastic LED beacons available.  Granted they are about £1200 but they do make a Recovery vehicle stand out from the dump truck.  But is it not time that the lighting beam manufacturers got some more OOMPH! into these amber beacons.  I would have thought it would not take too much imagination to produce something that would roast the eyeballs of anybody who chose to drive too close.  In fact the whole science of LED amber lights could take a quantum leap.  If only the manufacturers would do something.

I suppose one stumbling block may be that the cost of developing new units is expensive and because of the state of our Industry projected sales could be hard to measure and then if they are thinking of exporting I can’t see much of a market in places like Greece.

The issue of course is getting a Breakdown vehicle to have a strong presence and still stay within the Construction and Use Regulations.  As such, we appear to be stuck with red lights to the rear, amber lights all over the place, but at the front of the vehicle, as far as static extra lights are concerned, I do believe any colour but red is permitted.  So it is quite easy to make a Christmas tree at the front of the vehicle and since many of us work on single carriageway roads or finish up facing the wrong way, this can only be seen as a big safety issue.

Anyone who does not know what I mean should note the presence of some of the big artics on the motorways.  They have an array of small blue, green, purple and yellow lights, probably only 2-3 watts each, and yet they can be seen from perhaps two miles away.  The blue in particular is quick to get the imagination: is there an incident, is it an emergency vehicle, only to find out three or four minutes later that it is a 50ft artic.

So what we need, gentlemen, is a change of Construction and Use Regulations to allow a Breakdown vehicle, while operating at the roadside to display static blue lights front and rear, not exceeding 5 watts.  Small operators working at the sharp end have always been innovative.  There has never been a better time to make a statement with a few different coloured lights here and there and see what happens. 

In the meantime some Operators need to believe that part of the reason we never get a better light colour is because they appear never to have had enough toys when they were kids and insist on driving around with amber beams flashing and so further reducing their impact.  Some of the worst offenders for this are the AA and the RAC patrols.  But then, we don’t want them to have our new vehicle lights, do we?  

Fred Henderson,
Breakdown Doctor.

May, 2012

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Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.  No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.  He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).  His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.  Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. 

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.  It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.  Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.  Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.  She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.  

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; by his wife, Discretion; by his daughter, Responsibility; and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his four stepbrothers: I Know My Rights; I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame; I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.  If you still remember him, pass this on.

F.W. Henderson,
Breakdown Doctor.

(With thanks to whoever compiled this in the first place.)

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I cannot possibly allow the opportunity to pass without offering some support for a man who has inspired me.  I refer of course to Jeremy Clarkson who is no fool and knows how to get a point over: something our Recovery Industry is lacking.

Not only was he right to draw attention to idle Public Sector workers in the way that he did, but then had the skill when pressured to offer an apology that only these idiots considered to be such.  Apparently, 21,000 people complained which leaves I believe something like 59,980,000 people who probably believed every word he said. 

Every person who gives all of themselves in a working life of approximately 50 years, deserves a pension and is it fair that a person who gives his life to perhaps working in the Motor Trade or as a Recovery Operator only finishes up with a State Pension of about £140 a week, whereas a Public Sector worker, for example a Police Officer, will finish up with 2/3rds of his salary, because his employer, our brilliant Government or should I say you and me have chosen to pay this disproportionate amount.  

Just picture a more perfect world where all old people who have worked, and I say “worked”, have the entire pension fund, public sector and private sector, pooled and then divided by the total number.  Surely this would mean that all pensioners would receive more than £200 per week.

How inconsiderate and selfish to be striking over an issue like this only reinforces the greed and contempt that these people have for hard working and decent people.  Jeremy Clarkson was so clever when he made the statement: “They should be shot.” because it reinforces the point but at the same time suggests something that is not practical.   How many frustrated mums have said to their kids: “Do it again and you are dead, I will kill you.”    Once again, like the strikers, it is not a very realistic thing to be happening in a family home, and not half as threatening as stopping pocket money.

What would have been irresponsible of Mr. Clarkson, and I am not suggesting it either, would be something like: “Have a throw- an-egg-at-a-striker day.”  Now that would have been a problem.  So we don’t want that, do we?

Fred Henderson,
Breakdown Doctor.
December 2011 

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Sometime I think I must be alone in this world whenever I pick up a newspaper or look at the television news.  Not only is it apparent to anybody with half a brain or even just a quarter, that the world, apart from becoming an awful place, is riddled with a greater than ever degree of straightforward deception and dishonesty.  It has now got to the point where it is not possible to get an honest sensible answer.  Like many people I suspect that “saving the Euro” is all about “saving the gravy train of so many people that are involved with its existence.

Why would its collapse be so disastrous when we used to manage all right with the German mark, the French franc, the Spanish peseta and so forth.  Since the Royal Bank of Scotland would appear well and truly in this sort of mix, it should come as no surprise to us what has happened to the Green Flag contract.  I feel so sorry for all of the operators, many that have given a lifetime’s work to Green Flag and National Breakdown before them.

But I do feel dreadfully sorry for the people at the heart of the old-fashioned Green Flag as we know it: people who have always worked in Bradford.  They must be devastated to have to do what has been done.   At least the contractors that have lost their contract are out of it, whereas these Green Flag workers will have to continue with a very heavy heart, or not have a job.

Running a Breakdown Service requires a flexible approach, a caring attitude and a vocational commitment.  The old National Breakdown running on into the current Green Flag to a large extent had all these in abundance.  Royal Bank of Scotland have none whatsoever.

I think they probably struggle to fit into our world, but having said that, the world has changed and people like myself have to recognise that we all do need to adjust.  When National Breakdown started 20-odd years ago it called on the services of around (I think) 1500 cottage industry recovery operators, and that was at a time when everybody cared and everyone gave their all.  But like many other industries these types of businesses have had their day.  Look no further than all the High Streets where shops are boarded up and Tesco flourishing 200 yards away.  There are, in fact, plenty of other examples, so to harp on and look back is alright but only for nostalgic purposes.  We are now in a world where the customer/member and the recovery operator are just pawns in a game of finance.  The mystery to me is why these banks and insurance companies bother with breakdown work.

I know it is a loss leader in sales add-on but it is just one of about 10 add-ons that a bank or insurance company will use to lure in a customer and it is probably the hardest to service.

Hardly anyone now buys breakdown cover so there is no real income.  It then has to be provided, which costs money.  No wonder we are all in a state.  But having said all this we must recognise that the business model that Green Flag are creating could just actually work for them.  I doubt if it is going to make the contractors a lot of money because that is never allowed when working as a supplier to large concerns, e.g. Tesco.  But these super operators, if they have the skills to provide some sort of service, will undoubtedly take a lot of the strain from Green Flag and they will get the large liveried fleet that they always wanted and if this then works for Green Flag is it not inconceivable that the RAC could look at a similar set up.

It doesn’t require too much imagination to see a few big ambitious companies each owning and running a couple of hundred RAC vans which would pay-on-use; no jobs, no expense to the RAC. 

Undoubtedly the RAC member would not get the same level of service because commercial costing would come into the equation, but then I have to remind myself service to members is not the foremost part of the plan because they have not paid for their membership by and large: it has been given free.

The big difference of course is if the RAC go down the same route as the Royal Bank of Scotland.  It would be putting more money into the industry and not taking it out, although how many people we would finish up with as recovery operators on whatever scale is anybody’s guess.  Then there is the further Domesday scenario.  While Green Flag have selected these few super operators and the system works, which I actually do not doubt it will, what is to stop a major company bidding for the whole contract.  While I don’t have a player in mind, it could be any large logistics operator because you no longer need any depth of breakdown knowledge to run a breakdown service: because you no longer need depots, just hundreds of remote operatives possibly, dare I say it, controlled from India.

Finally, in case anyone doesn’t realise, we still have a Green Flag contract with a small area like about a hundred others, but all this means (I think) is that we will now have three years’ notice before we are also gone.  At least I have to be thankful that it is possibly three years where most operators had less than three minutes, the time it took to open their mail.

Fred Henderson,
Breakdown Doctor.
December, 2011        

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I have had to rather hurry this month’s writing because it is now over two weeks since the horrible motorway pile-up on the M5 and despite 48 hours of intensive television it is now almost forgotten about and in another week’s time it will be well gone.  There must be irony there somewhere.

Whatever turns out to be the cause of this incident, and I know that sadly lives were lost, people have got to realise that this is one of those things that is called an accident; something that occurs out of the blue and with hindsight, yes hindsight, is usually avoidable.  But us lesser mortals, for better or worse, cannot bring hindsight to the fore and avoid these things happening.  So why do we have to have such a fanfare and blame culture.  History is littered with these incidents.  Why didn’t someone realise that a hundred-year-old pit heap can slide onto a school killing over a hundred children and teachers?  Or that if too many people try to get to a football match at one time, 60 or 70 might die?  Or even when these other football fans were enjoying the game, who was to know that a butt-end dropped under the grandstand would cause such devastation?

And there will be plenty more, usually about one every three years.  Unavoidable? Undoubtedly.  Predictable?  I am afraid not.  Is it not remarkable that more “accidents” like this don’t occur when there are millions of cars bombing along at any one time, less than 20 yards apart (if you’re lucky) at 70 mph, in all weathers, every day, often driven by people I wouldn’t let loose with my Meccano set.

So why do we have a country full of Health and Safety heads, officials and hangers-on, with little or no ability to think outside the box, because that is where these incidents happen.

If it was the bonfire that caused this incident, and I have no better jungle telegraph than anyone else, I bet the people who organised it had had to suffer doing various Risk Assessments and Health and Safety procedures and everything else that goes with it and I suppose as a result there probably wasn’t one single child that had even the slightest burn from a sparkler, while anarchy prevailed over the fence on the motorway.  Of course, next year these people rather than banning bonfires will probably want it to be an offence to drive on a motorway on Bonfire Night!

Assuming that at some point one vehicle must have slowed and then everyone else chose to join in.  Surely it is that first vehicle that is to blame but in English law I do believe that if you collide to the rear of someone you are at fault, or at least sort of.

If all this was not bad enough, who should pop up on my television screen but our brand new Secretary of State for Transport, the wonderful attractive Justine Greening.  I thought this sort of thing, with people appearing on other people’s television shows, had gone out of fashion when Kenny Lynch retired.  There she was, complete with British Standard High Viz jacket (Terry Crampton would be pleased), attempting to put the world to rights.  What good could she possibly be doing.  And then I realised what could she possibly do even if she was asked?  She has only been Secretary of State for Transport for a few weeks.  What did she do before?  Good question for a pub quiz.

No wonder the country is in such a state when we have a situation where everything is run by a Jack-of-all-Trades and Master-of-None.  The Transport Secretary is not alone.  Her predecessor is now dealing with the Wars of Afghanistan and once this Coalition has been in play for three or four years and the musical chairs have continued, Justine Greening could easily next be in charge of the Education programme and our schools; she could easily move to Employment but, of course, if she misbehaves she could easily finish up as Northern Ireland Secretary.

I need to make it clear, I am not getting at her, in fact I think she is quite nice, but how can these people do justice when they are dabbling on the surface of what is not just a business but a whole industry.  A better example of this would be the Head of Greater Manchester Police suddenly running the Birmingham Ambulance Service and the Head of the Birmingham Ambulance Service running the Yorkshire Fire and Rescue.  The big difference is of course that these people are career professionals and have worked their way to a deserving position after a life-time in that one industry.

So what we need, Mr. Cameron, for our Christmas Wish List, and by the way we promise to be good, is a Secretary of State for Transport with the following CV.  We will accept similar.

Always having been interested in train sets and model cars and trucks.  Starting work as an Apprentice in a haulage business; working up to becoming Depot Manager and eventually Transport Manager.

More hobbies including service on the Committee of his local Motor Club; in fact competing at several events. 

At the same time standing for election in the local Council, as an Independent, defeating the Lib Dem representative and the Green Party. 

Move on to owning and running a haulage company, as well as getting things done on the local Council, including cutting down waste and reducing Council Tax.

Take up voluntary positions with Road Transport Associations; manage to operate a Breakdown truck for the good of his own business and witness the hardships of using such an animal.  Finally, on election to Parliament as a True Blue decide to give the rest of his life to the Transport Sector, having no desire to work on fashionable environmental matters; instead, continuing to campaign for issues connected with Transport, Rail and Air travel, never losing sight of his roots by now having an attic full of model railways (for his grandchildren, of course!), as well as a self-restored vintage car.

Now, Mr. Cameron, after 20 years as an MP our man is ready.  It is just up to you to find him!  And by the way, his friend from school who could not give up his toy soldiers, tanks and guns, also entered Parliament.  I think you may have a job for him too!

Fred Henderson
Breakdown Doctor
November, 2011 

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